Tuesday means seminar day

On Tuesdays I go to my dissertation seminar. To prepare, I read and comment on documents submitted by other graduate students. In many ways, this has been helpful to me because it helps demystifies the process of writing. I see that no one writes a perfect first or second draft. There is always room for improvement, even for the most brilliant writers in the group.

But other days it feels disheartening: so many people are so much further along and have come up with such great ideas. I try so hard not to compare myself, my writing, or my project to others or their work, but it's hard. I question everything: have I chosen the right field? Will I ever come up with a project that makes any sense? Do I have anything to say?

I know this is all very unproductive, so I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm tired. It was a long day. I taught (successfully) this morning, had several appointments with students, and then prepared for dissertation seminar. Days at work are difficult. I can't get much work done in my office because I know too many people. Too many people want to talk, and while I love all the interactions, this also prevents me from getting more work done. By the time I get home, I am exhausted.

Tomorrow I do two hours of volunteer work in the morning and finish grading the exams my students took last Thursday. But before that, I will spend at least one hour in the morning working on my prospectus. That's a firm commitment.